Ep. #45 Emotional Backpacks

Ep. #45 Emotional Backpacks

 
 
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This episode is about emotional backpacks… as in backpacks that you put your feelings in when they are not useful in your body (which is where most feelings are kept most of the time for most of the humans 😉  Allow me to explain.  Your feelings (all of them) are important and worthy of your attention, but some of them (especially negative emotions like self-doubt, worry, anger, frustration etc.) when kept in your body for long periods of time, can lead to unwanted results. Honor and recognize these emotions ALL emotions as part of the human experience and as such they are valuable so you keep them with you… but they do not need to own your body.  You own them and you put them where you put your other belongings.  In your backpack!

Show Notes:

Quick Links:

The New York Branch Video: https://www.instagram.com/p/CG31kHqjdIS/

Episode 17: https://www.thedanawilson.com/podcast/ep-17-the-process-of-processing

Transcript:

Dana: Hello, Hello, my friend, how are you doing today? Little disclosure. I am recording this episode before election day. I voted, I voted by mail and I voted early and I do not know what the results of our presidential election will be. It is possible that even if you’re listening to this on the day of its release, which is actually the day after the election, it’s possible that you still are uncertain of the results. I’m sure there are a lot of factors at play here, actually. I’m not sure, but I can only imagine. Now whoever is announced to be the president of the United States for the next four years. There is sure to be a lot of disappointed people out there, a lot of upset people, and here is what I have decided. I will tell you about that. This is what I will tell all of the upset people, all of the victorious people and, um, my future self that will be listening to this episode as well. I will say, that there is much work to be done, period. And you can do work. You actually love doing work. Yes. Quitting feels really good in the moment and blaming other people, oooooo that also feels really good in the moment, but doing the work and owning your good work feels so much better. It feels incredible. Now it may look hateful and unsafe out there, but you’ve got this. It may have even gone your way and you’ve still got this you’ve got work to do. And this episode is about one of the many ways that I work on myself. And I think that starting with the self is a really great way to get big, big work done like global type of work. Alright, I’m excited to get into it, but first let’s do wins. Shall we? Depending the results of this election and depending on what side of the aisle you sit and depending on when you listen to this episode, it may or may not be really hard to name a win today.  So let this be an opportunity to practice, not hanging your emotions on the circumstances of the world, but rather on your own decisions and your own creations. Today, my win is that I have made a place for people like you. Yes, you exactly. You, you smart and funny and emotionally intelligent and imaginative and resourceful listener you. I am celebrating that. I have made a place for you to come and listen and a place for you to come and be heard and a place for you to meet other people like you. Other smart, funny, emotionally intelligent, imaginative. What else are you? Oh, resourceful people. Now last week, I got a gift from a few of you. A few of my listeners who have taken on the doing daily creative challenge and also took it upon themselves to actually meet and actually make something really, really special together. A Broadway worthy piece to my damn fantastic, If I do say so myself, opening, jingle, shout out to Max Winnie, AKA the, make it on Instagram, my composer and longtime friend. Um, such a good job with that jingle. I mean, I do still listen to it often and it makes me smile. Okay. Anyways, four of my daily doers put together this piece and I’m linking to it in the show notes of this episode because it is simply too good to miss. So thank you, @DinkadoingdailyWTMM. Thank you, CourtneyDarlingt0n That’s with a zero instead of an N. Instead of that, that’s with a zero instead of an O in Darlington. Thank you, @SarahDoingDaily Thank you. Kristindoesdaily and thank you, @FrancesBrooks Now fondly deemed the New York city branch. I see you. I appreciate you. Thank you so much. Now it is your turn. What do you decide to celebrate today? Something that’s yours, something that you made, something that you decide is worth celebrating.  

Awesome. Congratulations. And thank you. You are crushing it. Okay. Many of you know that I am a backpack enthusiast. I have spent countless hours in my IG stories, reviewing different backpacks, even hours in my personal life, criticizing your backpack or praising my backpack. If you know me, then you already know my backpack. By the way, is the LuLu Lemon Cruiser from 2014. I should tell you, and I haven’t been paid to tell you this. I should tell you that there are two varieties of this bag. One of them has a hard shell, outer zipper compartment for glasses. I’m assuming. My bag is not that bag, the bag that you want is the other cruiser. It has all soft compartments and it is better. I should also tell you that this bag is no longer in production. I am sourcing them from eBay and I am on my fourth Lulu Lemon cruiser.  

Yes. I have decided to share this information with you today on the podcast, even though it could potentially mean that I am less likely to find these bags for myself, that my friends, is selfless. My backpack has everything. It has everything it needs and nothing that it doesn’t need like a super sleek black interior that makes it impossible to find my phone. My cables, my pins, my mascara, my Bobby pins or anything that is black. I mean like impossible, good luck. The black interior is a fatal flaw. I will not purchase your backpack. If it has a dark interior lining the dark interior lining of the bag matches the dark interior lining of your heart and your sick sense of humor and your design errors. No thank you, to bags with dark colored interior linings. Bright interior linings are for bright people, such as myself and such as you. You deserve a bag with a bright interior lining. Trust me, trust me now, thank me later. Okay. Anyways, this episode is really not about actual backpacks. Dana, please resist the urge to make this episode about actual backpacks. It’s been like 15 minutes of me talking about backpacks. I’m moving on. 

This episode is about emotional backpacks. As in the backpack that you will put your feelings. Nope, Nope, no, please don’t hit stop. Your feelings are important. They are worthy of your attention and they’re worthy of a backpack all to themselves. Let me explain. In episode 17, I talked to you through my process of processing negative emotions. In that particular episode, I walked you through how a coach helped me through feeling stuck. I discussed and described every single detail, every single inch of that feeling. I discussed how it felt in my body, how it looked in my body, you know, what color it was, how much it weighed, if it had any motion to it. And if that podcast were a video episode, you would be able to see how it felt in my body, a visible physical tension that turned into hot tears and eventually flowed from my face. And it took about 25 minutes to do this, by the way, this, this whole processing of the emotion thing. Now, when I don’t have 25 minutes to process my feelings, I like to employ this concept of an emotional backpack. My emotional backpack is the place that I put the most important feelings instead of keeping them in my body where they might not be very useful in the moment. Let’s take a look for example, at self doubt, when I feel self doubt, I feel it like in my sternum area, it feels like a black hole looks dark, icy, cold, vast, and sucky. I can’t think of another word. Like literally it sucks. Like it’s sucking everything around it, into it. My collarbones collapsed towards my diaphragm, my shoulder blades round forward, my face and eyes dropped to the floor. Everything gets sucked into that. Sternum suck. And I shrink. That’s what happens to my body physically when I carry self-doubt. And as a result in that shrunken state with my eyes low and my mind collapsed on itself, I don’t see the world. I don’t see opportunities around me. I don’t see teachers. I don’t see solutions, my doubt, and that darkness, that void are perpetuated and it keeps sucking. Everything keeps sucking as a result. So here it is. Here’s the big secret instead of carrying my self doubt and other unwanted emotions like overwhelm or worry or rage or shame, instead of carrying them in my body, I carry them in my emotional backpack on my back. And my emotional backpack is not my Lulu Lemon cruiser. It is an invisible metaphorical tool that I use that I happen to carry on my back, but yours doesn’t have to be a backpack. Yours could be a satchel or a fierce clutch or a lunchbox. I mean, you name the container of your choice. The point is that you honor and recognize these emotions, all of these emotions as a part of the human experience and as such, they are valuable. So keep them with you, keep them in the place that you keep your valuable things like your wallet, your keys, your tools, your cameras, your chargers, all of the things that are important to you. Count your feelings on that list of important things that you carry with you always, but you don’t need to carry inside of you. You own these things and you put them where you put your other belongings, in your backpack.  

Now give a negative emotion that you have experienced recently. Give it a name, guilt, embarrassment, imposter syndrome, overwhelm devastation, disappointment. You name it. 

Now, where do you feel that feeling in your body when you’re experiencing it? Where do you feel it most in your body? How much of your body does it take up? Close your eyes if you’re not driving right now and imagine it really feel that feeling. What color is it? Does it move? Does it move faster? Slow. If you were to touch it, would it feel warm, hot or cool? Would it feel wet or dry, rough or smooth? What does it do to the shape of your body? When you feel that feeling now with a deep breath, take that feeling into your hands and move it into your imaginary backpack, purse, satchel, shoulder bag, Fanny pack. What have you. Now zip it up. Feel the weight of the zipper, and now feel the weight of the bag. Take another deep breath.  Do you feel like you’ve made space in your body for something else? Do you feel lighter? Now, pick up your emotional backpack and put it on. It may be heavy, but heavy, like a jet pack, heavy like a jet pack that might actually boost you forward instead of hold you back. Pretty valuable. Huh? Now this new emotional jet pack. This is the thing. This, this is the real thing about the emotional backpack. It’s not just for negative emotions. Like the ones I mentioned before, or like confusion or embarrassment or anything like that. It can also be used to contain your positive emotions like exhilaration, pride, accomplishment, confidence. I keep all of those in my emotional backpack as well. Those are the feelings that fuel my life. Now, here is the best, best thing about the emotional backpack. Possibly the most important thing about it. When you finally make your way home or to a place where you take off your actual real backpack, that is your cue to take off your emotional backpack and unpack it as well.  Unpack all of the feelings that you’ve kept in there throughout the day and process them. Look at them, touch them, feel them, give them a color, honor them, turn them into art. Should you choose. Now I know that this concept is a little bit abstract, but if it speaks to you, please do revisit episode 17, where I talk more about the process of processing and please do enjoy or don’t enjoy what it feels like to feel all the feels. If you have any questions about this concept or actually anything at all, please feel free to write me @wordsthatmovemepodcast on Instagram. Yes, I suppose this is the beginning of an ask me anything. Call for questions at all times at any time on any subject, please reach out with questions. Um, full disclosure. This was not my idea, but that of my dear friend and brilliant human Emma Portner. Thank you for asking the good questions. Emma, bring them on everybody and bring on the funk. That’s somehow not as good a closer as Keep it funky. I don’t know you guys. I tried, I tried. Keep it funky. Everybody. I’ll talk to you soon. Have a great day or night or you know what? Grab all of it have, have at it. Yeah. That and everybody I’ll talk to you later 

Thought you were done. No. Now I’m here to remind you that all of the important people, places and things mentioned in this episode can be found on my website though. theDanawilson.com/podcast Finally, and most importantly, now you have a way to remember. So kickball changeover to patreon.com/wtmmpodcast to learn more and join. All right, everybody I’m really done. Thanks so much for listening. I’ll talk to you soon. 

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